The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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