4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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