i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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