Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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