Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
