it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
