Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
