He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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