so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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