she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have feelings that need drinking.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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