South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
