I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
