Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
