we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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