1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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