ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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