i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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