Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
