he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
