if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
