...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just invented taco cereal.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
