Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
