yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
