Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
