You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
