I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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