come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
