ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
