So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize