Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
