We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
