"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
