What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
