this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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