I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
