you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize
