help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I feel like abortions should bother me more
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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