there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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