her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
