By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize