can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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