I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
