check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
