Screwed.edu
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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