So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
