It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
