oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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