Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
