what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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