my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
