I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm too high and old for this...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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