i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
