**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im drinking this country out of the recession.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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