Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
