butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize