i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
