I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
