My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize