Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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