i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
