Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize