She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
