he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
