We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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