I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
