I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
