Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
