I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
