singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
