He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
